It's Wednesday, which usually means that I am caught in the middle of a busy week. Although life has slowed down slightly due to my summer vacation, I still have things that need to be checked off on my to-do list such as piles of laundry and a sink full of dishes. Don't get me wrong, I find quite the satisfaction in using my Le Pens to cross one more thing off my list, but sometimes I have so much to do that I avoid it. Am I the only one who feels this way? Maybe so, but this is real life, my friends.
I had been going back and forth for almost a year on whether or not to create this blog. One day I would be super excited and the next, completely intimidated. I am sure my honeybee was tired of hearing about it, but he never once doubted me. I was always so worried about what others would think about me – if anyone would read it, and what I would even blog about. With so many great blogs today, I felt like I would just be another blogger to add to the mix of an already over-populated scene. I've only been at it for a couple of weeks but it has honestly been an emotional roller coaster. Don't get the wrong idea, I am not sharing these thoughts to gain pity from others. What I am here to share is this: who cares.
2013 was one of the hardest years for me for a number of reasons. I was constantly stressed, in tears, and had a hard time accepting a lot of the changes that were going on in my life. My hair dresser, Josie, invited me to attend a yoga class she was teaching at her studio she had opened. She handed me her business card and I casually tucked it away in my wallet. I hate to admit it but months went by before I even looked at that card again, but the thought of attending one of her classes was always on my mind. The stress of my life finally took over me and I was looking for an outlet to de-stress my life rather than adding more clutter [ahem, shopping], so I finally took the plunge and attended a class. It sounds a little strange, but that night I seriously had an out of body experience and left that class with a sense of clarity and peace. Yoga quickly became something more to me than perfecting my Chaturanga or being able to get up into my handstand without the support of the wall. Yoga was helping me tackle the battle within myself.
Life moves so fast. I work three jobs and try to squeeze a little down time in between. It's so easy to get caught up in just "doing." We need to stop doing and start living. I have had to tell myself that so many times within the past year and I am still learning to live in the moment. Be present. It sounds so cliché, but it brings so much more joy. When I started to really live this way, my entire life started to change. I am a happier person and a lot of great doors have opened for me. If it wasn't for the lessons that yoga has taught me, I am not sure how I would have handled the news about my dad's illness and all of the baggage that was attached to it.
Josie said it best: “Face your fears. Don't just face them, thank them.” Who cares if no one will like my blog or if I can't yet run those five miles that I want to get to. At least I faced them, put myself out there, and had fun while doing so. Thanks to my fears I got into graduate school and now work at a wonderful job with great parents and fun toddlers where I get to help make a difference in their lives. Thanks to my fears I moved to a city where I knew no one to start a career. Thanks to my fears I started this blog. Whatever your fear is, just face it. It doesn't have to be large or life changing. It just has to be something. Do what makes you feel uncomfortable. Push your limits. We are our own worst critics. We compete with ourselves and compare ourselves to others who are not in the same chapter of life as we are. Why compete against anyone, including ourselves, when we are all striving to be the best that we possibly can? I hope we all make it. I really do.